General Appraisal
- As I look back, I do not know how the five days have passed. Feeling absolutely comfortable. When I was coming to the program, I really did not know how it would go, some anticipation was there.
- On all the five days, except on day -2, I got up by around 5.00 AM and did the morning meditation. It was a unique experience to meditate in the open surroundings, dark sky, and cool atmosphere and with natural sounds of birds etc, truly following the commandment -1 of the Master.
- The simplicity of food habits has bee quite comfortable and happy. I feel our needs are quite simple but in day-to-day living we have complicated them. I feel, after the visit there will be a definitive change in life style.
- Attended to evening satsangs after purification process, meditating in the open sky. Felt a perceptible ease as far as the effect of surroundings were concerned. There was an inner urge to move out for meditation.
- We retired to bed after prayer at about 10.30 pm. At the moment I cannot recall how each day has passed and this forgetful state is also quite refreshing experience.
- Started feeling the silence more vividly from day-3. The feeling was profound as if I am in a cloud and also felt a flow giving happiness and Joy . This could not be felt continuously due to several distracting thoughts and also due to severe headache in the afternoons. I took medicine for pain but importantly I could overlook it with determination for achieving the higher purpose.
Predominant Thoughts and Feelings:
- There was a feeling of awe and wonder on thinking about the objective of the course namely to: to feel oneness with all” This continued on day-1 but could not consciously maintain it due to several distracting thoughts.
- The major distracting thoughts were
- Remembrance of discussion had with my colleague just before coming to this program
- The impressions created due to loss of temper, arguments due to my critical attitude and mostly due to impatience while dealings with others. These impressions were disturbing my balance and its effect generally continues for a longer time. The thoughts of these were triggering the same disturbance again. Since the intrusion was heavy, I requested a sitting from Dr A. Subba Rao. After the sitting these disturbances have reduced considerably.
- There were many associated memory related thoughts pertaining to sensuousness.
- The thoughts on sensuousness were there on first two days, I practiced Point A meditation to get relief. The importance of this meditation has gained more importance since this visit.
- Had many dreams early in the morning on all days except on day-5 and also during afternoons on some days. The content of the dreams are broadly are:
- office related goals and work
- relationships with sisters and mother
- Sensuous contact was there in some dreams
- Passing through some lanes, mosque, through crematory places etc
- Attending to a satsang where Rev KCN was conducting.
The dreams were recorded in the diary and in retrospection they were cathartic in nature.
- Some of the thoughts during meditation and contemplation are:
- Felt the need for inner and outer oneness
- Be open to the sky and be open like the sky which is essential to feel oneness with all.
- Universal love and mytri are required to establish the communion with all. Did point A meditation for this during contemplation time.
- Felt the need to develop patience, restraint further during meditation also.
- Ego training is through unlearning which is painful when we do not yield
- Humility is a must for prayer
- Attention to self is magnifying the lapses and thus disturbing the balance. One should be attentive to the Master.
- We get balance which is simple, one need not struggle to maintain it
- Experience during morning meditations
- predominant feeling of coolness
- silence and expansive
- feeling of insignificance and dependency on Master
- felt the immense importance of Master/ Guru in sadhana.
- Also felt agitation/ restlessness on almost all days, there is no complaint for restlessness or agitation but it is leading to more helplessness.
Major Gains
- It is a blessing of the Master to be given in this opportunity to be in His company. Felt it to be like a Bhandara.
- Feeling of determination enhanced, obstacles are bound to be there, but we need to move on and on is the predominant feeling through out the program.
- Need for simple living
- To live in a spirit of coexisting with all
- To understand the importance of all aspects of Sadhana vis-à-vis the goal – the Natural path
Conclusions
- I offer my profound gratitude to my Revered Guide Sri K.C.Narayana garu for giving me this opportunity and Imperience for this unique experience. I feel that the effect of this course will be known more in the coming days of the sadhana. This is a must for all. I thank once again.
|
