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Abhyasi Name: Sri.
N.V.Viswanath
Abhyasi ID : 1625
Practicing Since: 25th Nov 1995
23-Dec-06
Did morning meditation from 6.10 to 6.55 AM under the tree. Had thoughts about yesterdays events, the predominant feeling was dependency on the Master
After the meditation I had thoughts continuously. The thoughts were related to the past. Thoughts did bother me. The thoughts made me feel my lowliness and felt greatful to the master for having taken me into his fold.
During the whole day I tried to be in meditation for most of the time with a yielding attitude towards the Master. This gave lot of relief from thoughts. There were intermittent thoughts of serving the Master with commitment.
Did evening purification from 5.00 to 5.40 PM. Felt light after it.
After coming back home in the evening also I tried to be in the meditative mood to avoid thoughts.
Attended to 9.00 PM prayer. Could maintain the thought for few minutes continuously.
After the 9.00 PM prayer also I sat in the meditation till 11.00 PM and felt good.
24-Dec-06
Did morning meditation from 4.10 to 5.10 AM at the place where we stayed. I was absorbed and felt silence during the most of the time. Sat again for meditation (This time under the tree) from 6.10 to 7.00 AM. It was silent. I again sat in the meditation from 8.00 to 9.00. Did not have many thoughts.
Around 9.30 I had a thought that I should not meditate rather just sit silently.
I started to sit silently without thinking about anything. This was natural and there was no force on the mind. I started feeling subtle vibrations in the head. This made me feel very happy and there was a feeling of contentment. I sat like this till 3.30 PM. I felt these vibrations continuously whether I had my eyes open or closed or whether I was sitting or laying down.
During this time I had the following feelings
- He is working continuously whether we are silent or not. That is His love for all of us.
- Around 12 noon I felt the intensity of the vibrations to be more.
- Around 1.00 PM I had the feeling that "All of us are living because of His continuous work and hence we are dependant on Him. He does everything and we think we are doing everything."
- Around 2.00 PM had thought that the internal and external noises we create does not allow us to feel Him. The more we go nearer to Him the more we feel Him.
There were other thoughts which were coming intermittently and did not have any impact on me.
After 3.30 PM I lost this condition and started getting thoughts again.
Attended to purification process from 5.00 to 5.30 PM. After that I did not feel like continuing the purification process.
In the evening from 6.00 to 8.00 pm started having lot of thoughts. I felt bad for having lost the condition which was there till 3.30 PM.
Attended to 9.00 PM prayer and could maintain the thought for few minutes.
In the night I sat for meditation till 11 PM and found relief.
25-Dec-06
Did morning meditation from 4.00 to 5.00AM at home (The place where we slept in the night). There was lot of silence.
Had thoughts from 6.00 to 9.00 AM and was irritated by them. Sat for meditation for 40 minutes from 9.00 AM and found calmness. Later I sat with a feeling of dependency on the Master. There was a feeling that I should improve my dependency on the Master.
Started feeling the subtle vibrations again and felt happy.
From 2.00 to 5.00 PM most of the time was spent in thinking on how to develop self confidence, love for the Master, how to serve the Master etc. In the evening did not attend to my evening cleaning as I did not feel like doing it.
In the evening from 5.30 to 6.30 went out to see garden of Br.Rama Rao Garu.
In the night sat for meditation for couple of hours and felt good.
On the whole I felt the program to be good. I understood the value of silence and will try to implement it. I understood how difficult it is get into silence and at the same time how easily we can spoil the silence.
I thank the Imperience for having given me this opportunity.
Regards
Viswanath
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