Imperience - Centre for Research and Training in P.A.M
 
 
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10-12 Oct 08, Narasingapuram. Report submitted by Dr. B.S. Murty
  
Report on Manasa Sarovar Programme held during October 10-12, 2008
by B.S. Murty, Chennai

My humble Pranams to Pujya Sir.

When I completed the 3-day Manasa Sarovar Programme, it was quite difficult for me to break the silence. That state was so pleasing and enjoyable (I do not know whether these are the right words to explain) that I wanted to remain like that as long as I can. When I was asked to explain about it, my feeling was “what is there to talk”. By talking, I would be disturbing the silence within. The imperience is beyond words and beyond senses. When I want to talk about it, I need to dress it up in a way that the senses can comprehend. Any dressing up would hide the truth (true imperience) or distort it.

Now I would go 4 days back words to the previous day of the programme. On 9th morning, I just returned from Ooty with family, a pleasure seeking trip for the senses. From there to the mango grove was a 180 degrees out of phase experience. The moment I gave handed over the mobile phone to sister Bargavi, I got physically detached to my daily world.

The moment my mouth got shut, the inner world came out with all its noise. I remembered the words of brother Ramprasad. He told us “Sir told me that meditation sessions are not sessions of brooding”. Now the cleaning and prayer for cleaning has started. Interestingly, all my thoughts are about the projects that I am handling and those I have to start working on, the meetings and conferences that I need to organize in the next one month, my students and their PhDs and not my family. This told me where my attachments are. Sir’s story of fisher woman trying to sleep in the house of a woman who sells flowers assumed significance. Whatever nice environment, external silence that is provided, until the inner noise subsides, we will not be able to enjoy the silence.

I started analysing, what is “noise”? The following thoughts emerged out.

Nature has certain characteristics and certain frequency of vibrations. If our thoughts are in phase with that frequency, then there is no noise, i.e., if our thoughts reflect the nature of the inner being (divinity). When the thoughts are not in tune with our original nature, it leads to noise. This automatically brings out the fact that silence is the natural state of our being. Noise is like the clouds in the night clear sky that I see above my head. The only way to get rid of the noise is through cleaning, which will remove all the clouds, like the wind does, and reveals the inner silence, which is the clear sky, the Chit Lake. The noise is only the waves in the Chit Lake. With the waves on, the true nature of divine reflection in it is not visible.

By the first day evening the cleaning could culminate into the silence. I felt a kind of vacuum in me. I felt so light that I felt like a subatomic particle in tune with the nature around me. That is when I could feel that the vibrations that I feel in me are there all around me, within the small ant in front of me, the small grass plant to the big mango tree, which is giving me the shade. I felt that I am one with this nature and that there is no difference between me and this nature around me. This union looked so natural to me and the remaining two and half days were spent in enjoying this union, which was so blissful. I could see brightness within me and everywhere else. I had a glimpse of this during some meditation sessions earlier and during some sittings with Sir, but never for this long.

Probably this is what Buddha has felt under the Bodhi tree, which is being felt by me below this mango tree (Sir, I request you not to treat this as arrogance. I am saying these words with all my humility but with the confidence that this imperience has given me). I now understand why the Yogis used to prefer seclusion.

It is not that there is no external noise here. I can hear the loud speakers, the train sound, the occasional motor bike sounds, the sound of the factory mills, the voice of the birds and that created by the trees with the breeze. However, all of these have no more become any barrier to my inner silence and bliss. This is when I remembered the saying of Ramakrishna Paramahansa. “You are like milk and when you mix with water, you can not differentiate. When you convert this milk to butter and put into the water, you can stay unattached to the water”.

Now I could feel the concept of Mansa Sarovar Programme. It provides an environment for us to go inwards, provided you have set your goal as oneness with divinity. If one has not set this goal, he would definitely like to run away from this programme. We are highly indebted to Master that he has given not only this opportunity but also has put the seed of this goal into us that we could enjoy this programme thoroughly.

I also had a number of lessons from the smallest to the biggest parts of the nature around me.

I saw a small ant that carried almost 10 times its weight untiringly for a long distance and offloaded it on to a bigger ant when it could not carry it further. I could feel the concept of surrender in this event.

I saw at least five different sizes of ants and from small grass plant to big mango tree living together in harmony. That is when Rabindranath Tagore’s words rang in my ears “You are in my eyes and so I see you everywhere”. It is always the state of mind of ours that gets reflected around us.

I saw the big mango tree, which is fully live and active in its own way and able to take the hot sun and heavy rain with equanimity as if teaching me a lesson.

I also had a few dreams, particularly, on the last day night, which looked completely irrelevant and I felt that they are a part of Bhog that I was undergoing.

I am now back to the regular external world of mine and the confidence that this programme has given me would help me in maintaining this silence to some extent. As Sir pointed out once “the student who has got class first once tries to maintain it”. Though this may not be the right example that I should give, it expresses my feeling.


with Humble Pranams,
Murty